Get excited, friends – it’s time for Lisa’s 2010 Nature Bracket picks!
For those of you who are new around here, here’s the scoop: for the past three or four years, I’ve dedicated one NCAA bracket to choices based upon which team’s mascot would win if the mascots were to actually fight in nature. Do I base my picks on solid, thorough research? Not really, though I do spend a good 30-40 minutes on Wikipedia looking up mascots of less famous schools. Most of my picks are based on gut feelings, but I have adopted a few rules:
1. If ever the teams playing have the same mascot, I go with the higher seed. If I hate the higher seed, I pick whom I want. My bracket, my rules. ; )
2. Bird mascots present a challenge for me in this endeavor. Generally speaking, I assume the bird is grounded, inevitably leading it to be the prey to the Wildcat, Cougar, etc. it’s playing. The more I think about this, though, it does not take into account a bird’s inborn advantage of flight. Oops. I never said it was a perfect system.
3. In particularly confusing cases, I refer to the team’s sideline mascot. (This will make more sense later.)
4. Does the mascot have a gun? Then just about always, it wins. (Not surprisingly, this bracket never fares well in group competitions unless teams like the Xavier Musketeers are wildly successful.)
Okey dokey. Away we go!
Midwest: I picked 16 Lehigh Mountainhawks over 1 Kansas Jayhawks, largely because I think Sherron Collins can suck it. Next, I chose 8 UNLV Runnin’ Rebels over 9 Northern Iowa Panthers, largely because I think the Panther would run into this guy’s menacing chin, pass out for a little bit, then the Rebel could shoot him.
And now, we go West! I had to look up 16 Vermont Catamounts, but I found out they’re a kind of cougar. I still have no idea what-the-what 1 Syracuse Orange is, but a Catamount would devour an orange, I think. Next, 9 Florida State Seminoles take 8 Gonzaga Bulldogs. 12 UTEP Miners trump 5 Butler Bulldogs, largely because Miners are tough S-O-Bs, or at least they’re depicted that way in the movies and on TV. 4 Vanderbilt Commodores over the 13 Murray State Racers, primarily so I can insert this picture:
(*High School Musical reference for the Zefron fans out there)
Sweet Sixteen: This was a tough call for me, but because I am politically correct, I select the Native Americans of Florida State to best the Miners. Because I am realistic, I select the musket-bearing Xavier to slaughter KSU’s wildcats.
Elite Eight: It’s that time of year again: reliving history’s sad injustices. Sorry Seminoles, but the evil white man strikes again, and it’s the Xavier Musketeers to the Final Four!